It’s that time of year, to recap 2006 and make predictions for 2007.
Stephen Beaumont picks his Taste of the Year; Lew Bryson has started his Best of 2006; Jay Brooks checks in with both the top stories of last year and predictions for this; Bryan and Adam at Brew Lounge discuss 2007 predictions; A Good Beer Blog invites readers to participate (and offers a fine prize); and the list goes on.
So why not? Here are nine predictions for 2007. I’m leaving the 10th open for you. Submit an entry as a comment. The best (based upon some vague guidelines) will receive a signed copy of Michael Jackson’s 1977 World Guide to Beer.
1. A bottle of beer homebrewed by Thomas Jefferson sells at auction for $56,403.
2. Modern Scientist reports that Brettanomyces, a yeast associated with “wild beers,” increases the IQ of laboratory mice by between 25 and 42 percent. Sales, and prices, of Belgian and American beers brewed with the Brett skyrocket. One skeptic serves Orval to his pet mouse every day for a month and declares him no smarter (but smart enough to have suckered somebody out of an Orval a day for a month).
3. SABMiller – seeing the opportunity to cash in on the wild beer craze and growing success of pumpkin beers with a single acquisition – buys tiny Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales in Dexter, Mich., as well as the entire town of Dexter and one million used wine barrels for the production of “Great Pumpkin Wild Beers.”
4. Dogfish Head Brewery in Delaware spends its advertising budget for the next 10 years on a Super Bowl commercial. Keeping the theme of the piece secret until the moment it is shown, founder Sam Calagione promises no Clydesdales will be injured during the course of producing the commercial.
5. Blue Moon Brewing buys Molson Coors Brewing Co.
6. Barack (is there anything he can’t do?) Obama wins Homebrewer of the Year in the National Homebrew Competition and declares that if elected he will name Fred Eckhardt the nation’s first Craft Beer Czar.
7. Beer blogs come of age. Gawker Media pays $875,000 for A Good Beer Blog. Little, Brown offers Beer Haiku Daily a $325,000 advance on a book deal.
8. ESPN adds an Extreme Brewing competition to the X Games. Anheuser-Busch pays $10.5 million to be the exclusive sponsor.
9. International brewing giant InBev signs a deal with Abbey Sint Sixtus of Westvleteren to brew its cult beers under a special contract and sell them around the world. InBev announces that as well as distributing Westvleteren 6, Westvleteren 8 and Westvelteren 12 it will produce a special Westy 12 Lite for the American market.
Feb. 5 – The contest is closed. The winner is Peter Hooper, who lives almost directly north of me (in Colorado). To be honest, I couldn’t pick based on merit, so picked a winner at random. Thanks for participating.
10. The Brewer’s Association launches Rate-A-Beer-Geek.com to return fire after years and years of endless torment from the mighty pen, paper and cell phone light display. Havoc ensues over at RateBeer.com and BeerAdvocate.com as millions of “tickers†go ape$shit. Details at 11.
Redhook and Widmer merge. Hefehook becomes the best selling beer in the Northwest. Do I get extra credit when it comes true?
10. Sam Adams brews a green beer for St. Patrick’s Day, available only in Boston bars. Jim Koch dresses up at a Leprechaun and taps a cask-conditioned version of the beer at Doyle’s Cafe.
Anheuser-Busch strikes a deal to distribute Czechvar in the United States. As part of the deal Budejovicky Budvar agrees to brew Czechvar with corn. Sales skyrocket.
Anheuser-Busch, maker of Michelob and Budweiser among others, decides to enter the gluten-free beer market with RedBridge. One customer response “big deal!!, Anheuser-Busch has been brewing ALMOST gluten-free beer since its inception anyways.” On hearing this comment, Anheuser-Busch reponded by producing its first all-malt beer.
Anheuser-Busch acknowledges that the maturing beer market in the U.S. cannot be marketed to and that the millions of dollars in advertising is a waste. One executive responds “we cannot create any kind of brand loyalty. We spent $2million rolling out and advertising ‘Bud Double Dry Hopped IPA’ in the second quarter of 2007 and consumers are buying no more of it than any other brewers IPA. Its like the consumers are more educated, they enjoy the shopping experience of choices, and appreciate diversity of flavor. This is bad. Why can’t they just buy our beer and not someone elses…MOMMY!” After composing himself the executive passes paperwork across the desk to purchase this website and the interviewer’s car.
In a related story, The 2008 Superbowl is cancelled due to ‘lack of advertising funds. ‘
European Comission, following the recommendations of a disclosed FAO report, will recognise beer and wine as components of a healthy, balanced diet and will lower the taxes and foster their consumption to bring them to the level of other food categories like olive oil or blue fish.
Wishful thinking!
Antonio
Flying Dog Brewing announces it is buying Hair of the Dog Brewing.
Since Flying Dog already brews some of the Spanish Peaks Black Dog beers and some of the Thirsty Dog beers under contract industry insiders specuclate that Flying Dog will eventually acquire every dog-related brand in the country.
Look out Sea Dog, Lucky Lab, etc.
Bush Brewery announces it’s new Bush IPA (Impeachment Pale Ale).
Running out of ideas for specialty beers, Sam Adams brews a St Patrick Shamrock Ale made with clover instead of hops. They brew it with an alcohol content exceeding 12% so consumers will be too intoxicated to realize how bad it tastes. It is served at Boston Garden and the fans forget how bad the Celtics are!
Jim Cook and Sam Adams have announced that they have bottled their TripleHefeWiezenQuadrupleBoch. It will be sold in nip bottles and sell for $75.00 each. They only bottled 500 and they will be going fast.
News Flash: California Governor Arnold Schwartzeneger in a move to raise additional funds for his extravagant projects, has sold the naming rights of the Board of Equalization to Mike’s Hard Lemonade for an undisclosed amount, forcing the Board to revamp it’s alcopop taxation. Thoughts that both the California Senate and House naming rights are under consideration has AB and Guinness licking their chops in anticipation.
OpenSource Beer becomes the rage, all major breweries start seasonals based on OpenSource Beer entries.
My prediction is a safe one – I can be bought for that price!
Pabst’s will brew a Russian Imperial Stout that will be only be available for a short time at an unnamed site in the midwest. The cool kids that drink Pabst at crappy bars converge on the big-beer geeks that worship “limited-release, high alcohol monsters”. When the beer is released, it turns out to be just a bad beer and both sides become aliened and start drinking “alcopops”.
Bert Reynold announces he is resigning from Miller’s Men of the Suqare Table to film Smokey and the Bandit IV. This time instead of Coors he will be transporting Fat Tire, leading a caravan of bicyclists.
Stone Brewing announces that its Epic Vertical Ale to be released on July 7 (.07.07.07) will be a wussy yellow beer, perfect for summer drinking.